Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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