I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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