i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
