being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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