If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
