You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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