just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
