he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have aggressive nipples.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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