i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
