I got chris browned last night
I understand Curling. That high.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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