did you get engaged???
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
