Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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