I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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