its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
