Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
