i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ugly people sure do ruin things
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
