Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
