Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
