if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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