i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
