Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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