You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
