I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
