I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
