During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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