Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
