talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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