piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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