and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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