it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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