You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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