he shaved USA in his pubs
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
