dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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