I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
