I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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