It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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