playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
