**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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