She announced her abortion via fbk
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
