Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
