just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
