Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
