you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
