Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
