Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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