My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
