im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
