dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
