He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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