I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
