In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
