Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
