I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
